How I Grew by Giving Warm and Useful Advice That Can Improve Your Life and the Lives of Others (And You Can Too)

Life is full of challenges and hardships that can shape our character and resilience. However, sometimes these experiences can also make us more sensitive and vulnerable to criticism or feedback from others. We may take things personally or feel attacked when someone points out our flaws or mistakes. This can prevent us from learning and growing as individuals, as well as creating a culture of fear and avoidance in our relationships.

Feedback is not something to be feared or avoided. On the contrary, it is a valuable opportunity to improve ourselves, to learn from others, and to achieve our full potential. Feedback can also strengthen our bonds with others, if we deliver it in a compassionate and respectful way.

What is compassionate feedback? It is feedback that is given with the intention of helping the person receiving it, not hurting them or bringing them down. It is feedback that is honest, specific, timely, relevant, and future-focused. It is feedback that acknowledges the emotions involved, but also focuses on the actions and behaviors that can be changed.

How can we give compassionate feedback? According to ManageBetter, a performance feedback generator, we should:

• Speak in terms of actions and behaviors, not person’s identity.
• Acknowledge our role and place in the situation.
• Acknowledge emotions (even when hard).
• Be collaborative about finding solutions.
• Give one piece of constructive feedback and let it stand on its own.
• Before our next one-on-one, pause to reflect before giving feedback.
• When we notice a problem, find a way to surface it immediately.
• In our next meeting or one-on-one, consider another person’s perspective.
• Turn a digital exchange into an in-person conversation.
• Once a day, have a conversation where we mostly listen.

In addition, Ink+Volt, a productivity blog, suggests that we should:

• Put ourselves in the person’s shoes and think about how we would react if we received the feedback.
• Focus on the performance, not the person, and comment on the situation, the process, or the product, not the personality or skills.
• Use positive language and avoid words that imply blame or judgment.
• Be specific and provide examples or evidence to support our feedback.
• Balance our feedback with praise and recognition for what the person does well.
• Ask for their input and listen to their perspective.
• Offer support and guidance on how to improve or overcome the challenge.

Giving compassionate feedback is not easy, but it is worth it even when sometimes it might sound harsh. It can help us grow as individuals and as teams, as well as create a culture of trust and respect in our workplaces and communities. By being clear and compassionate in our feedback, we can show that we care about the person receiving it and that we want to see them succeed. Furthermore, if we follow these steps and methods, we will be amazed by the results. We will have a clear conscience that we did not hurt anyone, but rather helped them and lifted them up. We will also strengthen our relationships and show our genuine concern, which will foster more love and harmony among the people.